May revivals: second half

Mike here with revivals to catch for the second half of May. But first, I should comment that the Film Forum has done a nice job with the Bond films. All the prints, except for For Your Eyes Only, have been in very good condition. And even Eyes Only, with its slight red tint in the black and dark areas, plus a slight overall fading, was still pretty decent. As much as the Moore haters may not like The Spy Who Loved Me, this is better then a lot of the summer blockbusters that have come out over the past couple of years.

The showing of classic trailers was a a fun touch, though I don't need to feel old by being told by the Forum that Octopussy is considered vintage. I agree with Ed, the Diamonds Are Forever trailer looks like it sat in someone's closet for over 35 years.

The karaoke sing-a-long of Goldfinger and From Russia With Love were such nice touches, I missed them for Spy and Live and Let Die. I never realized what horrible lyrics Goldfinger had. The Chinese karaoke version of Russia was funny. The video storyline was bizarre, and I'll make a stab at describing it. A man sits on a chair, in the world's brightest yellow sweater, looking at pictures of the girl he used to love. At one point, he turns into a seagull and . . . HUH?!?! HE TURNS INTO A SEAGULL? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE CHINESE?!?!?!?

Anyway, enough digressing. On with the list:

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN- Wed May 16 at 4:30 and 7- Film Forum- This is still doable, Moore versus Christopher Lee. I already wrote about this in the previous list. If you have nothing better to do then to twiddle your thumbs, go for it.


NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN- Thurs May 17 at 4:30 (tentative), 7 and 9:40(but for the love of God let's avoid it)- Film Forum- The end of the spy film series at Film Forum. A reminder to catch Connery's last Bond. I wrote about it in the previous blog, so I won't do so now. As of this writing, 7 is preferable. I would like to avoid 9:40 if humanely possible. Another screening might be easier, but that would require getting a hold of me.


THE LONG GOODBYE- Fri May 18, Sat May 19 and Tues May 22 at 5:30, 7:40 and 9:50- Film Forum- Due to popular demand, the Forum is bringing back the Robert Altman adaptation of the Raymond Chandler novel, starring Elliot Gould as Phillip Marlowe. The same new 35mm scope print that was being screened earlier. Those of you who haven't seen it, this is a great chance to. I've written about this before, so the only thing I'll add this quote I received from the Forum's email system. This is from Terrence Rafferty of the New York Times: “Watching The Long Goodbye in 1973, you could feel Philip Marlowe dancing on his own grave. Watching it now, you can see Robert Altman dancing with him.”


JULES AND JIM- IFC Film Center- Sat May 19 at Noon- IFC Film Center- I brought up the Truffaut classic back in December. It plays again this month. Don't think I have to go much further. Though I would like to bring up, if you're ambitious, we could do Jules and Jim at noon, followed by Long Goodbye at 5:30, with a long lunch in-between. For those who can do it and haven't seen either film. Just a suggestion.


THE DIRTY DOZEN- Wed May 23 at 1:30- Walter Reade at Lincoln Center- Part of the Lee Marvin retrospective. A new 35mm print of one of the best action/war films ever made. Was probably the biggest commercial hit of that year, though I have no stats to bear this out. Was a definite crossover hit in its time, among males of different ages. The older men saw it, and tended to enjoy it, remembering how the military, or war was. The younger audiences liked the idea of these anti-heroes sticking it to the man, yet still killing Nazis in the end.

A bunch of solider/convicts with death or life sentences agree to what is essentially a suicide mission to wipe out a castle full of high ranking Nazi officers. The members of this tough platoon include Charles Bronsan, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, Oscar nominated John Cassavetes, and Jim Brown, running the most famous yards he never ran on a football field. And Marvin is the world's toughest Major; taking no crap and taking no prisoners as he leads his group to hell. Sorry if it sounds cheesy, but wow, do I enjoy this thoroughly macho movie.


DAY OF THE LOCUST- Sat May 26 at 6- Walter Reade at Lincoln Center- Part of the John Schlesinger retrospective. The only one I know I can make as of this writing, since Midnight Cowboy at 3:45, as much as I would want to catch it, is too tentative to confirm right now. But this one I'm pretty sure I can catch. From 1975, a more acidic look at Hollywood then Sunset Blvd. and The Player combined. A man tries to start a movie career, but is soon surrounded by shallow empty people more interested in sex, drugs and trying to kill boredom. Gee, guess Paris and her ilk would have felt right at home in the 30s according to this film. The film co-stars Donald Sutherland, Karen Black and Burgess Meredith, with a small role from Jackie Earle Haley. Oscar nominations for Meredith and cinematographer Conrad Hall (American Beauty, In Cold Blood). The end is considered a stunner.


BARRY LYNDON- Mon May 28 and Tues May 29 at 7- Walter Reade at Lincoln Center- I've taken grief from other Kubrick fans I know, by not saying this is my favorite of his films. It's not even in my top 5. Compared to some others, I've barely given this film a thumbs up. But people forget I did give it a thumbs up. What I can't say I was thrilled with, was the print I saw at Cinema Village back in 2000 or 01 (I forget which). Not top quality I'm afraid. Supposedly, this is a restored, unscreened, 35mm print. The work was supervised by Kubrick's former assistant, Leon Vitali, who plays Lord Bullingdon. Hopefully, this is as good as the Walter Reade at Lincoln Center is trying to make it out to be.

Supposedly, Vitali will introduce at least 1 screening, which happen twice a day from May 27-May 29. But they haven't mentioned which screenings on the website. Supposedly Marisa Berenson, who plays Lady Lyndon, will introduce one screening, though the website doesn't confirm this either. As for me, I haven't said I will definitely do this. After all, I caught this twice earlier this decade. And the film is 3 hrs, 4 min long, plus an intermission and not counting any intros. I just mention when I could do it. The rest is up to you.


GATES OF HEAVEN- Tues May 29 at 7:50- Film Forum- The documentary that put Errol Morris on the film map. Siskel and Ebert were his biggest supporters when this quirky documentary came out. It covers a California pet cemetery, the people who who bury their pets there and the people who run it. Might be tough to take for pet owners. That's why it was a hard for me to watch it on TV. I didn't finish it there, but I'm willing to take a chance now.


THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA QUEEN OF THE DESERT- Thurs May 31 at 7 for 6.50- Chelsea Clearview Cinema- W. 23rd and 8th- A cheap screening of the sleeper hit of 1994. Years before Hugo Weaving appeared in blockbusters like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings, as well as voice overs in V For Vendetta, Happy Feet and as Megatron in the upcoming Transformers film, he starred as a drag queen in this Australian dramatic comedy. He must pay off a favor by traveling to an out of the way resort, to perform a cabaret. He brings 2 other friends/performers, another drag queen (Guy Pearce, years before L.A. Confidential and Memento) and a transsexual (Terence Stamp, in one of his 2 comeback performances in the 90s.), and travel in their lavender bus, Priscilla. Glorious costumes that won the Oscar that year, even if one of the dresses were done for as little as 7 dollars. Yes, you can spend only 50 cents less to see this, then for what one of the dresses cost.

Works as a road picture. Works as a buddy film. Works as a drama. Works as a comedy. After the mid 90s, this film has been gathering some dust on the video shelves. So some of you might not know or remember Priscilla. Time to rectify this.


Different list, let me know. And for those of you doing Magical Musical Moments 6: Mostly Broadway! at Trinity Lutheran Church for the next 3 weekends starting with this one coming up, break a leg. Later all.

Film reviews: cleaning house part 1

I'm so backed up with potential reviews of films I've seen, it's not even funny. The only way I can spit anything out at this point is to write in a manner similar to my revival lists. So let's try that. Here we go:


300- Here's a film that satisfies one half of me. The emotional side that's getting a nice amount of blood-letting, and over the top fun. They don't make sword and sandal flicks anymore, not without an air of pretension like in Gladiator anyway. Don't hold your breath for historical accuracy either. Especially with the 8 foot, androgynous, drag queen, also known as Xerxes. Just expect a different looking world. More enjoyable then the previous Frank Miller adaptation, Sin City. Loved the look of that film, and it was decent, but I didn't become one of the fanatics who overpraised it. This is campy fun, helped by the best CGI environment seen in a long time, and some good to very good bloody battle sequences. It's hard not to leave this film without quoting a few lines. On opening night, it was hard not to transpose the lines. WE SHALL DRINK . . . IN HELL. WE SHALL PLAY THE JUKEBOX, IN HELL! THIS . . . IS . . . SPAR_TAAAAHHHH!

We get a new A-list type action film lead in Gerard Butler. You believe in him, his ability to disembowel 12 men in a minute, and you buy Butler's ability to make the worst-written line credible. Much like Errol Flynn in Captain Blood, Butler succeeds in making chicken salad out of chicken shit with his dialogue. In weaker years, Lena Headey's performance would get deserved dark horse consideration for an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. We'll see.

If one wishes to look into subtext with this, knock yourself out. If you want to say, view this as Gay decadent society, trying to impose their will against a bunch of macho, gay bashers who are trying to hold the principles of gods and self-discipline by any means necessary, go ahead. If you want to place a certain current president into the role of Xerxes, as he leads his vast superior numbers, in a losing war against a small army having home field advantage, go ahead. If you want to have said president represent Leonidas, as he sticks to his principles and deals with an Arab force intent on wiping out his people's way of life, go for it. You see this film, you realize all of that it is a little much. Just have bloody fun. I'd go to see it again on the IMAX screen, even though as of this writing there might be only one or two more days to catch this before Spider Man 3 comes in. As it was, seeing it from the third row, having the picture almost permanently imprinted on my left eyeball seems as good as it will get.


BREACH- This film satisfied the intellectual side more. Not only is it not the bloody spectacle that is 300, watching this film was almost like watching Leonard Nimoy play Spock through all 3 seasons of the original Star Trek. Emotions stifled to the point that if you prefer Star Wars action all the time, you will be bored. But when some emotion comes out, you really take notice.

It says that it's based on a true story, but consider this as a Cliff Notes version of the capturing of Robert Hanssen, a veteran FBI agent convicted of selling secrets to Russia, both when it was the Soviet Union and after. Perhaps a little too much story is placed on the young undercover agent ordered to gain Hanssen's trust, but it's not a fatal flaw by any means. It moves fairly quickly and is never boring. But it feels familiar and while I would recommend paying to see it, I guess I can see why it's not a big hit. It feels like other non-Bond, Non-Clancy spy films and you can look at it and say, "do I really need to go pay 10 dollars for this? NAH! Wait for the DVD."

It's interesting to see Ryan Phillippe continue to stay under the radar and give good performances. Crash, Flags of our Fathers, and now this. He's in the young pup learning/ rookie who must take down the master role, and under these 2 dimensional confines, he handles himself well. Especially when compared Laura Linney, who's adequate but can't rise above the limits of playing Phillippe's handler, or Dennis Haysbert, who can only come in and out, doing the authority voice thing that could be a trap later on.

But Chris Cooper is working on a different level, playing Hanssen. Bitter about his level in life, a god fearing man who records and distribute sex tapes of him and his wife. A talented man whose arrogance and paranoia have bent him all out of whack. A man who, in getting his revenge and in an unspoken manner, seems to equate stealing office supplies, objects in other people's offices, and state secrets as one in the same. He could take the time to explain his motives directly, but what's the point, I did it, deal with it. Cooper makes each conflicting move believable, and except for the last scene (you'll know what I mean when you see it), raises the level of the film above the typical.

Note: Hopefully when this comes on DVD, they'll have digitally removed the boom mikes that crop up on screen from time to time. They can't change the fact that The FBI is using Windows XP Office here, even though the film takes place in Jan-Feb 2001, and this particular form of Windows would not exist for several more years, but anyway . . .


RENO 911:MIAMI- The Comedy Central show is good in spurts, and this film is much the same. Imagine a platoon-like group of officers of varying sizes, genders, and ethnicities with one thing in common, they all learned police work from Inspector Clouseau. Not a bad performance from any of the main actors, and Paul Rudd is hilarious as a Jewish Tony Montana. Seems to follow a partial script, with Cops-like camera work done to the point that you might think they're doing a Borat-type film from beginning to end (I think that's where most of the deleted scenes on the DVD will be).This would be a fun rental, but worth the price of a 10 dollar admission? I don't think so. Apparently, most of America agreed, but this looks like a mega-hit and a comedy classic when compared to . . .


I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE- A romantic comedy that's not funny. Not one laugh out of me. Not. One. Laugh. A few smiles here and there, but that's it. One reason I went was because I liked the trailer, though all the moments I laughed at then, I couldn't repeat now. The other reason I went, was because the friend I was with REALLY wanted to see a movie after work, and it was either this or The Reaping. A few weeks later, he asked if I wanted to see the Hillary Swank film, and I said hell no. You had your chance back then, but now, no way.

Once again Chris Rock remakes a superior film into a comedy of his own creation that barely resembles the original. Unlike the Heaven Can Wait/Here Comes Mr. Jordan remake Here on Earth, which has some scattered laughs throughout, this remake of Chole In The Afternoon tries and fails badly. Minus the nudity in order to get a PG-13 rating(that attempt failed), and with adult sensibilities that don't work on Chris Rock. The only laughs from the sparse crowd at Fresh Meadows came from those under 25, and they were all dick jokes. Minus Kerry Washington, there is little reason to stay interested. No sympathy for Rock, who is tempted to cheat, nor for the shrill wife with no sex drive, nor the other woman with a bod for sin, and the emotional depth of a 15 year old on a good day. If Sean Penn had the capacity to laugh, he would laugh at this schmuck and not the film. And when I say laugh at the schmuck, I mean Chris Rock the amatuer actor and director, not his character. We could laugh at Rock's film career going bye-bye, no matter what Madagascar 2 does. Avoid this film if you know what's good for you. Don't make my mistake. I didn't pay to see this and I'm still annoyed at the thought of it.

May revivals: first half

Mike here with a very long list of revivals to catch for the first half of May. Very Bond heavy, but not just that. Some conflict and one is even repeated, but if there's interest. You'll tell me. But first, a couple of reminders for this month. Here we go:


GOLDFINGER- Sat Apr 28 at 7:30 and 9:40- Film Forum- 209 W. Houston St., bet. 6th and Varrick- A reminder of one of the best Bonds ever playing.


DR. NO- Sun Apr 29 at 5:20 and 7:30- Film Forum- A reminder to try to catch the first Sean Connery Bond film. One update, Bruce Eder, who handled the commentary for the Criterion Disc version of Dr. No, will introduce the 5:20 screening.


LIVE AND LET DIE- Tues May 1 at 4:20, 7 and 9:40- Film Forum- The first of the Roger Moore Bond films. Has more then a little dead weight (everything involving the red neck sheriff), and the joke of James Bond in Harlem seems dated now. But there are some good sequences, a kick ass theme song from Paul McCartney (Oscar nominated), and a beautiful Bond girl in Jane Seymour. I could on and on about how much I love her at any age and any time, but I could be arrested in some states with those comments, so I'll move on. But also, 6 Bond trailers will be screened as well. Whether they are Connery, Moore or Lazenby, I have no idea.


DIRTY DANCING- Tues May 1 at 7:30 for 10 dollars- Regal E-Walk at W. 42nd St., Union Square Stadium 14 at 850 Broadway, and Kaufman Astoria Stadium 14 at 3530 38th St.- This is one of two different ways the 20th anniversary of the sleeper hit of 1987. For a brief moment in time, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey with her original nose, were stars, and you can see why here. Won an Oscar for the song Time of my Life, and made The Contours' Do You Love Me memorable for whole new generations. Directed by Queens College alumni, the late Emile Ardolino.

This is the more expensive way, though you might be able to sneak in, with a coupon for another film with regards to Union Square and Kaufman Astoria. Not grammatically correct, but I think you get the idea. I think this is will be digitally projected, but the Regal Cinemas website is unclear. Apparently deleted scenes and new interviews are also included in this.


KILLER OF SHEEP- Wed May 2- Sun May 7 at 6 and 7:50- IFC Film Center- W. 4th and 6th Ave.- A highly praised film from director Charles Burnett, in a restored 35mm print. Never released in theaters until recently, and never available on home video, and yet still added to the Library of Congress. A black and white film from 1977 covering a family's efforts to survive in the Watts ghetto in L.A. It seems to be in the Army of Shadows category: an unknown film that once it's caught by critics, they deem it a must see. Not much time to catch it. Here's the link to the trailer on you tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTcdk36J5H8&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eifccenter%2Ecom%2Ffilm%3Ffilmid%3D271


THE SPY WHO LOVED ME- Wed May 2 at 7 and 9:30- Film Forum- Arguably, the best of the Roger Moore Bond films. Definitely the best of the 70s Bond films, though it admittedly doesn't have a lot of competition. One of the better stories, Moore's best Bond performance, great Egypt and Canada/Switzerland locations shots, a standout opening stunt, and one of the better Bond villains in Jaws (you know, the one with the metal teeth). Would have been the big hit of 1977, if that art house film Star Wars hadn't come out.

Oscar nominations for Marvin Hamlisch's score, song (Nobody Does It Better) and the opulent Art Direction/ Set Decoration. But if you're a Connery/Craig purist, you hate this film with a passion, so I'll move on.


FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE- Fri May 4 and Sat May 5 at 4:30, 7 and 9:30- Film Forum- In my opinion, the Best Connery Bond. Yes, even over Goldfinger, but it's so close, this opinion could change the next time you ask me. Has the best fight scene, between Connery and Robert Shaw. If you know Bond, you know how good this is. Nuff said. Oh yeah, after the film at each screening, there will be a From Russia With Love sing-a-long. I kid you not.


VANISHING POINT- Fri May 4 and Sat May 5 at Midnight- Landmark Sunshine Cinema- 143 E. Houston St. bet. 1st and 2nd Ave.- One of the films that inspired Tarantino to direct his part of Grindhouse (a similar model Dodge Charger is used for the major car chase), gets a rare screening. A cult hit from 1971, Barry Newman agrees to deliver the charger from Colorado to Frisco in less then 15 hours on a bet. Cops and highway patrolmen plot to catch him. Throw in gay hitchhikers, a few naked chicks and a boatload of car chases, and you'll see why Tarantino wanted in part to do Grindhouse.


NOTE: Because of schedule conflicts, I need a yes on From Russia With Love and/or Vanishing Point absolutely no latter then Tues evening on May 1, 3 or 4 days before the screening. Otherwise, I may have to plan differently.


THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD and OUR MAN IN HAVANA- Mon May 7 at 5:35 (Havana), 7:40(Spy) and 9:45(Havana)- Film Forum- A change of pace from the Bond films in the Forum's retrospective. The first film, is a successful adaptation of a John le Carre film; possibly the bleakest atmospheres in a Cold War film. Richard Burton was Oscar nominated, as a British spy who might be defecting, who might be faking it, but definitely can't take the job anymore, and wants to feel human again.

Double feature with Our Man In Havana from 1959 (1960 in the U.S.). A comedy/drama from director Carol Reed (The Third Man), and starring Alec Guinness (yes kids and others, Sir Alec did more then just Star Wars and David Lean epics). He plays a vacuum salesman in Havana, hired by super spy Noel Coward to spy for them. Guinness has trouble uncovering secrets, so the best way to keep his job is to make secrets up! The cast includes Maureen O'Hara, Ernie Kovacs, Burl Ives, and Ralph Richardson as C. No, not M, C. Shot on location in part in Havana.


HARRY AND TONTO- Tues May 8 at 8:30- Walter Reade at Lincoln Center- W.67th st. or there about- Part of the Paul Mazursky retrospective. The year Pacino was nominated for Godfather 2, along with Nicholson for Chinatown, Hoffman for Lenny, and Albert Finney for Murder on the Orient Express, the surprise winner was Art Carney for this film. A character study about a retired New York teacher, travels cross country with his cat to see his adult children, visit America and say good bye to old friends. Mazursky was also nominated for Original Screenplay. Ellen Burstyn co-stars.


FOR YOUR EYES ONLY- Wed May 9 at 9:30- Film Forum- In my opinion, the best of the Moore Bond films. The last of the United Artists Bond films, no thanks in part to Heaven's Gate. Less high tech compared to the other Moore films. With a nice homage to previous Bond films in London, and a terrific middle sequence involving skiing in Veneto, Italy. Arguably with the most and least capable Bond girls (Carole Bouquet and Lynn-Holly Johnson respectively). Also a well done credits sequence with Sheena Easton and Oscar-nominated title song.


THE IPCRESS FILES and BILLION DOLLAR BRAIN- Thurs May 10 at 7:40(Ipcress) and 9:45(Brain)- Film Forum- A double feature of one of the more popular cash-ins on 007, Michael Caine's Harry Palmer. A glasses-wearing, non-physical spy who uses his smarts to overcome villains and superiors who underestimate him. First is The Ipcress Files, as red tape and upper class snobs prove just as difficult to fight, as the villains who use Manchurian Candidate-style methods. The second is Billion Dollar Brain, as close as you'll get to a mainstream film from director Ken Russell. Haven't seen all of the later, but I've liked what I've seen, and I wouldn't mind catching both.


DIRTY DANCING- Fri May 11- Wed May 17 at 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:30, and 10 for 7.50- The Ziegfeld Theater- W. 53rd and 6th- This is the other way to catch this film this month. A remastered film print on the Ziegfeld's large screen. Cheaper as well. Doubt I'm available for every day and showtime I wrote, but it's easier to list them this way. Before the 7:30 screening on Friday May 11, there will be a Q and A with actress Kelly Bishop (she played Jennifer Grey's mom) and Screenwriter Eleanor Bergstein.


YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE- Fri May 11 at 7:40 and 9:50- Film Forum- The last of the Connery Bond films from the 60s. Not the best Connery Bond, but still pretty good. Perhaps the best sets from the 60s set of films with SPECTRE's underground lair, a well-done helicopter battle sequence, and Donald Pleasence as Blofeld.


POINT BLANK- Fri May 11 at 6:15- Walter Reade theater at Lincoln Center- Part of the Lee Marvin retrospective. An adaptation of the Donald E. Westlake novel that launched John Boorman's directorial career big time. A cool action-crime drama, where a gunman with a code (Marvin) is set up and cheated out of his money. Left for dead, he comes back demanding payment and revenge. Most of you don't know this one, and it's time to know this better then the mediocre Mel Gibson remake, Payback. Angie Dickinson, Keenan Wynn, Carroll O'Connor, and John Vernon (Dirty Harry) are also in the cast.


CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON in 3-D- Fri May 11 and Sat May 12 at Midnight- Landmark Sunshine Cinema- Not every film has to taken seriously. Cheesy 1950s fun with a memorable humanoid fish creature terrorizing poor Americans. The cheesy 3-D effects will supposedly happen again for these screenings. And no, this was not Clint Eastwood's film debut, he appeared in the sequel.


THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE- Sat May 12 at 4 and Mon May 14 at 3:30- Walter Reade theater at Lincoln Center- Part of the Lee Marvin retrospective. John Ford/John Wayne with James Stewart in the Western classic. Giving more of an idea of how the West was tamed. It required people like Stewart's character to have the ideas, but it also required people like Wayne's character to do the dirty work, and kill the bad guys. The latter will be feared, but then forgotten and ignored. Marvin plays the title character, as despicable a bad guy as you can imagine. Made the saying "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend." part of the lexicon.


ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE- Sat May 12 at 9:40- Film Forum- For me, the best Bond film. Not necessarily the best Bond in George Lazenby, though I thought he was the best Bond, physically and fight-wise. I've done this one before, so if someone really wants to do it, they'll have to let me know ASAP.


THE ICEMAN COMETH- Mon May 14 at 6:30- Walter Reade theater at Lincoln Center- Part of the Lee Marvin retrospective. Marvin and director John Frankenheimer come together for this ambitious adaptation of Eugene O'Neill's classic, daunting play. Marvin plays a man in 1912 who comes to an old haunt, a dead-end bar full of drunks, with intentions that may not be honorable. Almost 3 hours, but if you're willing to take the risk. The cast includes Jeff Bridges, as well as Fredric March's last performance, and one of Robert Ryan's last performances.


CASINO ROYALE (1967)- Mon May 14 at 7- Film Forum- If you're into fun bad movies, here's one for you. 5 different directors, including John Huston, and at least 7 different screenwriters, including Ben Hecht, Billy Wilder, Joseph Heller and co-stars Huston, Orson Welles and Peter Sellers. Many Indians and very few chiefs helped blow up the budget and extend shooting far longer then scheduled. Also not helping was Sellers being an asshole on set. He and Welles didn't get along, and it got so bad on set, the producers fired him before filming ended, and re-wrote his part.

There are parts of the film that work. Some involve Sellers, as well as David Niven as Sir James Bond, and a lot of hot chicks, including Ursula Andress, Joanna Pettet and Jacqueline Bisset. But a lot of the big laughs come from Woody Allen as Jimmy Bond. Possibly his funniest screen performance.


THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN- Wed May 16 at 4:30(tentative) and 9:30- Film Forum- Not the best Bond to be sure. Not crap like A View To A Kill (which I won't list), but this certainly has its problems. Too much of the wisecracking sheriff from Live and Let Die, now vacationing in Japan (are we KIDDING?!?!?!?), Britt Ekland is beautiful in her bikini, but she grates quickly and often, and everyone has their own pain threshold for Herve Villechaize. Mine just happens to be very high. Plus, Christopher Lee makes a very good Bond villain, and his showdown with Moore as Bond works well, including the slight homage to Welles' Lady From Shanghai.

Could do the 4:30, in theory, but I might have to bolt afterwards. The 9:30 would probably be easier.


NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN- Thurs May 17 at 7 and 9:40- Film Forum- The last of the Bond films in the Forum's retrospective of spy films. Basically, it's the 1983 remake of Thunderball (too many lulls, plus falling on Mother's Day is why I'm not listing it.), directed by The Empire Strikes Back's Irvin Kirschner. A lot more fun, even if the visual effects look cheap now, with a more interesting cast. Klaus Maria Brandauer makes a good villian, as does Max von Sydow as Blofeld. Rowan Atkinson makes a fun extended cameo in his film debut. Barbara Carrera makes a good, hot villianess. There's a terrific middle involving a motorcycle. And Kim Basinger (years before she gave birth, and along with Alec, tries to ruin their daughter's life) is arguably the hottest Bond girl from the 80s. When she gets out of the pool in that tiger swimsuit, OH . . . . . MY . . . . . GOOOOOOOOOOOD. That's why there's a photo of her in the suit right here. Not the best one around, but the one I could find that wouldn't get me in trouble.

And oh yeah, Sean Connery returns to the Bond role after a 12 year absence, already making it better then most of the Roger Moore/Timothy Dalton Bond flicks.

Like I said, long list. Let me know ASAP, especially with regards to May 4th and 5th. Later all.

April revivals: second half

Mike here with a list of revivals for the second half of April. I'm not fooling myself though. The only ones I'm guessing I will get anyone interested in are the Bond films, and anything else will be a bonus. 2 of these films I've done before, and another film is x rated. But nevertheless, I put it out there. Here we go:

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SING-A-LONG- Fri Apr 20 and Sat Apr 21 at Midnight at IFC Film Center W. 4th and 6th Ave.- and Tues Apr 24 at 7:30 at Cinema Arts Centre- 423 Park Avenue in
Huntington- Once again I bring up the Buffy sing a long. Those who saw the clip i forwarded from MTV News which briefly featured me and others who were there (http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1552711), have an idea of how much fun it was. For those who hate the midnight time slot, or hate having to go into Manhattan, it will play at the more reasonable time of 7:30 on Tuesday April 24, at the Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington. Go to http://www.cinemaartscentre.org/april07/buffy.html for more details and directions.


DISCO DOLLS IN HOT SKIN in 3-D- Sat Apr 21 at Midnight- Landmark Sunshine Cinema- 143 East Houston St. bet 1st and 2nd Ave.- For those who prefer some other kind of entertainment for your midnight pleasure, here's something a little different. A campy X rated film from 1977, featuring gorgeous Uschi Digard and an uncredited John Holmes. Supposedly in 3-D. I think it might be a little different then the 3-D effects in Meet The Robinsons. Call it a hunch.


ROBERT ALTMAN'S THE LONG GOODBYE- Sat Apr 21, Wed Apr 25 and Thurs April 26- Film Forum- 209 W Houston Street, between 6th Avenue & Varick- 7:40 and 9:50- Some of you have done this Robert Altman film with me before, so I won't push too hard. This is a new 35mm scope print. I don't know what that means, so if someone does, let me know.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it, catch it. Imagine Phillip Marlowe, now in the swinging, more violent, early-1970s, while he still seems to carry the values and ideals of a much earlier era. Now, instead of having Bogart as your private eye, you have Elliott Gould. Altman felt Gould was perfect for it. He said (I got this from the Forum website):

“Everyone said Elliott’s not Philip Marlowe and I wasn’t being true to Chandler, but what they were really saying was that Elliott Gould wasn’t Humphrey Bogart. I believe we were closer to Chandler’s character than any of the other renditions.”

That apparently was the feeling back in 73, beacuse the film was a box office flop. Their loss, your gain if you go see it.


DARLING- for free- AMMI- Fri April 27 at 5- 35th Ave. and 36th St.- In 1965, Julie Christie essentially became a star in 1965 and won the Oscar for Best Actress. However, she became a star from her 1965 film, Doctor Zhivago, and won the Oscar for this. From director John Schlesinger (Midnight Cowboy), Christie plays an anti-hero; a model in swinging London of the 60s who tries to sleep her way to money and success, people be dammed.


GOLDFINGER- Fri Apr 27 and Sat Apr 28- Film Forum at 7:30 (tentative for me on Friday) and 9:40- 209 W Houston St, bet. 6th and Varrick- This is the start of a series of films that are from the 60s with a view on spies, either serious or light, or it's a James Bond flick (everything officially and unofficially Bond from Dr. No through A View To A Kill, except Moonraker, will be shown). Arguably one of the best Bonds, as Sean Connery battles the title character, Odd Job, a castrating laser, and in his own way, Pussy Galore. Following the 2 listed evening performances on each day, there will be a Goldfinger sing-a-long. No I don't know why or what exactly, they're just doing it.


THE EVIL DEAD- Sat April 28 at 7- Two Boots Pioneer- East 3rd Street bet. Avenues A and B- If you're more in the mood for a horror film, then Sam Raimi's 1981 (though it didn't receive an official release until 1983) classic fits the bill.


DR. NO- Sun April 29- Film Forum at 5:20, 7:30 and 9:40- The first of the Bond films (No I'm not counting the Barry Nelson version done for TV, Bart. Shut up about it already!) with Sean Connery. Featuring the Theme, and Ursula Andress rise from the sea like a goddess. Luckilly, there will be no sing-a-long after each screening. I'd hate to imagine how stupid that would be like.

Let me know if there's interest, especially if it's about AMMI, Huntington or Bond. Later all.

April revivals: first half

Mike here again with a list of what to catch in early April. This may not be the most popular list I've ever put by a wide margin, but I want to at least put it out there that my tastes are not always obvious. The first film listed here is not in April but this Thursday, but since I just found out about it, I want to put this fun film out there as soon as possible:


DEATH ON THE NILE- Thurs Mar 29 at 7 for 6.50- Clearview Chelsea Cinema- W. 23rd and 8th Ave- For those who like Agatha Christie mysteries, murder mysteries in general, or the British in general, here's an easy going film for you. Peter Ustinov makes his first appearance as Hercule Poirot. I don't know if I would put him over Albert Finney's version, and I wouldn't put him over David Suchet's great interpretation on tv. But this is Ustinov's best film as Poirot. The time, money and care was put into this. The wonderful Egyptian locales and the Oscar winning costume design helped create a fabulous look.

Once again Poirot must stop his vacation and a solve the murder of an heiress (future Bond babe Lois Chiles) aboard a ship on the title river. A wonderfull cast. David Niven assist Poirot, and the suspects include Bette Davis, Mia Farrow, Olivia Hussey, Angela Lansbury, Jack Warden, Maggie Smith, Jane Birkin, and George Kennedy. C'mon, not every film has to be serious, they can be fun too.


LILI MARLEEN- Wed April 4 at 6- MOMA- W.53rd and 6th Ave.- Part of the Rainer Werner Fassbinder retrospective. I caught a bunch of them at Film Forum's retrospective back in March 2003 or 04, I forget. Some of them are playing at MOMA's retro in April, but I'm not going to list most of them or put them on, in case someone says yes. And if you think I'm going to list his 15.5 hour film, no matter how many parts it has been broken up, you're a crackhead.

This however, was the one film I wanted to see there and didn't get to. It plays again now. Controversial in Fassbinder's native West Germany for depicting the time period in a kitschy, irresponsible manner. How dare he throw in Busby Burkley elements! Fassbinder was more interested in telling a love story, and would not let historical accuracy get in his way. It was originally shot in English for American distribution, then dubbed in German. I don't know if there will be any subtitle reading or not for this. But anyway, I'm going to be a little lazy, and just cut and paste from MOMA's website:

Screenplay by Fassbinder, based on unproduced screenplays by Joshua Sinclair, Manfred Purzer; adapted from the autobiography of Lale Andersen. With Hanna Schygulla, Mel Ferrer, Christine Kaufmann. In Fassbinder’s only film set during the Third Reich, Schygulla, a fine singer, plays an emotional chanteuse who falls in love with her Jewish accompanist and becomes a recording star by performing “Lili Marleen,” the song that Goebbels derided and Hitler loved.

"A movie with a fantastic plot and very rich and energetic mise-en-scene. The feelings Fassbinder expresses in Lili Marleen are sweeter and more compassionate than any he has expressed before"
Andrew Sarris


DESPAIR- Fri April 6 at 8 and Mon April 16 at 6- MOMA- Part of the Rainer Werner Fassbinder retrospective. Never seen this. But I am very curious about this one, because of the writers involved. Tom Stoppard wrote the screenplay, adapting Vladimir Nobokov's novel. Nominated at Cannes for the Golden Palm. For the plot, here it is from imdb:

Germany in the early 1930s. Against the backdrop of the Nazis' rise, Hermann Hermann, a Russian émigré and chocolate magnate, goes slowly mad. It begins with his seating himself in a chair to observe himself making love to his wife, Lydia, a zaftig empty-headed siren who is also sleeping with her cousin. Hermann is soon given to intemperate outbursts at his workers, other businessmen, and strangers. Then, he meets Felix, an itinerant laborer, whom he delusionally believes looks exactly like himself. Armed with a new life insurance policy, he hatches an elaborate plot in the belief it will free him of all his worries.


THE NIGHT OF THE SHOOTING STARS- Mon April 9 at 8:30- MOMA- Italian film that made an art house impact here in 1983. Never seen it and would like to. Here's the plot of this film, according to imdb:

The Night of San Lorenzo, the night of the shooting stars, is the night when dreams come true in Italian folklore. In 1944, a group of Italians flee their town after hearing rumors that the Nazis plan to blow it up and that the Americans are about to arrive to liberate them.


ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE- Tues April 10 at 6- Walter Reade theater at Lincoln Center- W. 67th St.- A forgotten crime drama from 1973, that in part, dismisses the saying 'The grass is always greener on the other side'. Robert Blake plays a short Arizona CHIPS-like cop, who dreams of being a Homicide detective. He gets his wish, only to discover his life is now much more complicated. Job responsibilities are tougher, his personal life is in upheaval, and can he trust his superiors?

Underrated crime drama, with a terrific lead performance from Robert Blake. Yes, the same Blake acquitted of murder. But if you remember him form In cold Blood, you can imagine how good he really is here.


THE COLOR PURPLE with Whoopi Goldberg in a post screening Q and A for 5 dollars- Mon April 16 at 7- The Academy Theater at Lighthouse International- 111 E. 59th St.- Steven Spielberg's first attempt at a serious, non-genre film gets a rare, affordable screening. Controversial in part because both the NAACP and the book's author, Alice Walker, were not thrilled with both who was director, and the changes made from the book. That part seems to have been swept away over time (in part because Walker has embraced the film as being different yet special), but as a curious side effect, the film seems to have been swept away and forgotten as well.

Was also controversial at Oscar time, when it received 11 nominations, including Best Picture, but nothing for Spielberg as Director. Then, it won nothing on Oscar night, tying it with The Turning Point as the most nominated film to not receive an award.

Also notably in the casting of both Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg; both cast in their first major film, both Oscar nominated, and both haven't left the public consciousness ever since. Goldberg herself will do a Q and A after the screening.

If there's any interest in this screening (happening the day our taxes need to be mailed out), I need to know ASAP. To quote oscars.org, Tickets are $5 for the general public and $3 for Academy members and students with a valid ID, and may be reserved by calling 1-888-778-7575. Depending on availability, tickets may be purchased in person on the night of the screening. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. All seating is unreserved.


REAR WINDOW- Tues April 17 at 8- W. 95th and Broadway- I bring up this AFI top 100, my personal top 30, and my favorite Hitchcock film yet again. I've talked about it before, so I'll move on.

Let me know ASAP if there's any interest. Before I go, some of you may not know that from late April thru mid-May, the Film Forum will be doing a series called 60s Spies a Go Go. Some fun, good or bad, spy films from the 1960s, plus every official and unofficial James Bond film from Dr. No thru A View To A Kill (except for Moonraker; sorry JC). I'll go into some of them another time, but here's the link, in case some of you want to get a quick look and make early plans:


http://www.filmforum.org/films/vintage007films.html#430


Later all.

March revivals: second half

Mike here with a list of March revivals for the second half. Almost as small a list as last time. Here we go:




RAISE THE RED LANTERN- Thurs Mar 15 at 7 and 9:30- Film Forum- 209 W. Houston St. bet 6th- I once again bring up this film that has been described as a kind of Doll's House in reverse. I wrote about it previously, so you can go back to that.










BLUE VELVET- Fri Mar 16 and Sat Mar 17 at Midnight- IFC Film Center- W. 3rd and 6th Ave.- Part of IFC Film Center's David Lynch midnight series. In my top 5 ever, possibly higher. This mystery/neo-noir/romantic drama got Lynch a Best Director nomination, and brought both his and Kyle MacLachlan's career back from the dead. Isabella Rossellini established herself as an actress once and for all, and Dennis Hopper became a working character actor forever, in a career performance. Also drew major controversy in its day for its, let's just say, sexual connotations, and what was required of Rossellini in her role. I believe it was Ebert who called this film the most vile thing he had ever seen (or something along those lines). Rosselini attacked him in response (verbally attacked I meant). A bit of a Rorschach test, this hauntingly beautiful film is. Decide for yourself.


REAR WINDOW and LIQUID SKY- Sat Mar 17 at 4(Window) and 6:30(Liquid)- 35th Ave. and 36th St.- AMMI in Astoria- A double feature that's part of the museum's Fashion In Film Festival. A very strange double feature to be sure. Strange enough that I will do both films if possible, not one over the other. Not on the level of previous double features, like Pink Flamingos and Yojimbo, but close.

First, Rear Window. An AFI Top 100 film, in my personal Top 30 and my favorite Hitchcock. I wrote about it back in October, so you can look it up in one of the previous blogs. Bard College professor Pat Kirkham gives some kind of pre-film talk, regarding the fashion choices made in the film and how they relate to each other, etc.

Next, Liquid Sky. A New York cult film from 1983, that played for several years as a Midnight movie. Aliens land on Earth, seeking the substance they find vital, heroin. Landing on what they think is normal Earth, downtown New York during the punk scene, they become fascinated with a female model and her casual sex ways. They also become interested in an androgynous male model. Both models played by actress Anne Carlisle.

The film had champions in a way, in the form of Siskel and Ebert. But after the 1980's, the film has dropped out of sight. Some put it on their list of bad films. Others put it in their list of fascinating cult films. A time capsule of the look and feel of the downtown scene of early 80's New York, in a sci-fi filter. To quote the museum's website, "Director Slava Tsukerman, cinematographer Yuri Neyman, and production and costume designer Marina Levikova will introduce the screening."


NETWORK- Mon Mar 19 with TCM's Robert Osbourne and director Sidney Lumet at 7:30 for 5 dollars-The Academy Theater at Lighthouse International- 111 E. 59th st.- A cheap screening of one of the more influential films of 1976. Considered a bit outrageous when first released, but more prophetic as each year has passed. Tell me that cable news shows and the shows that spoof them don't resemble anything depicted in Network. If you have the balls to me I'm wrong . . .

10 Oscar nominations, including Picture, Director Sidney Lumet and Actor William Holden. 4 Oscars, for Supporting Actress, Actress for Faye Dunaway, Original Screenplay for Paddy Chayefsky and Actor for Peter Finch, the first posthumous winner in an acting category. Some feel Holden would have won if Finch had not died. But once you deliver something that hits the pop culture zeitgeist like the "I'm mad as hell" monologue, it's hard to overcome. Network became only the second film to win 3 of the 4 Oscar acting categories (Streetcar was first.)

The screening will be hosted by TCM's Robert Osborne, with director Lumet as a guest. Whether he does an intro or a Q and A was not made clear by the oscars' website. Call 1-888-778-7575 to reserve. Plan to be there about a half hour beforehand, seats are first come, first served.


JOHNNY GUITAR- Thurs Mar 22 at 7 for $6.50- Chelsea Clearview Cinema- W. 23rd and 8th Ave. A simple Western, starring Sterling Hayden, Joan Crawford and Mercedes McCambridge, and directed by Nicholas Ray (Rebel Without A Cause), that was successful back in 1954, then went away. Until Francois Truffaut and some gay film buffs got ahold of it.

So is it a simple, entertaining Western? Is it an allegory of the Blacklist and the McCarthy witchunts? It was written unofficially by black-listed screenwriter Ben Maddow. Is there high entertainment value from the over-the-top perfs of both Crawford and McCambridge? Both ladies hated each other. They fought constantly, and according to IMDB, Crawford was so mad (and drunk), that once she flung McCambridge's costumes along a stretch of Arizona highway. And is it true that the real story of the film, is that McCambridge's character is actually a closeted lesbian, spurned by Crawford, and now seeking revenge? I would say, yes to all of the above. It works as a Western, the allegory is right there, the lead female perfs have high camp value, and I would say you could say no about the lesbian overtones, but there's enough there to read that into it. Worth catching in any case.


THE EARRINGS OF MADAME DE . . .- Fri Mar 23 at 7:30 and 9:30- Film Forum- Charles Boyer and Vittorio De Sica stars in Max Ophuls' film, which will be screened in a new 35mm print. Nominated for costume design. Don't know a lot about this film, and frankly, I thought there would be no interest. But, there is. So instead of writing up something I'm not familiar with, I'll just cut and paste the following from the Forum's website:

1953) “Unhappiness is an invented thing.” The earrings of Madame de... (her name is never spoken in full) pass from husband to Madame to moneylender to husband to mistress to lover, and back again — until someone barks, “Stay away from me with those infernal earrings!” — and fin de siècle high society is exposed in its frivolity, hypocrisy, and inability to love. The sumptuous sets and costumes, and the swirling camerawork — dollying, tracking, craning — of Ophüls’ trademark romanticism — its highlight the progress of a romance traced through a single rapturous dance through time shifts and costume changes — transform the astringency of Louise de Vilmorin’s original novella, while the performances by Danielle Darrieux in the title role, Charles Boyer as her husband, and Vittorio De Sica as her lover are “quite likely the finest each has given” (Pauline Kael). “The greatest film of all time . . . Below the glittering surfaces, the lush decor, the sensuous fabrics, there is the cruel sensibility of an artist mourning the death of this world and all other worlds to come. Inside the beautiful ladies and lovers of romance lurk the grinning skeletons of tragedy. If the cinema had produced no other artists except Ophüls and Renoir, it would still be an art form of profundity and splendor.” – Andrew Sarris. “Perfection... A novelist may catch us up in the flow of words; Ophüls catches us up in the restless flow of his images — and because he does not use the abrupt cuts of ‘montage’ so much as the moving camera, the gliding rhythm of his films is romantic, seductive, and, at times, almost hypnotic. The virtuosity of his camera technique enables him to present complex, many-layered material so fast that we may be charmed and dazzled by his audacity and hardly aware of how much he is telling us. Should the day ever come when movies are granted the same respect as other arts, The Earrings of Madame De... will instantly be recognized as one of the most beautiful things ever created by human hands.” – Dave Kehr.


BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SING-ALONG- Fri Mar 23 and Sat Mar 24 at Midnight- IFC Film Center- Once again, I bring up this fun outing to those who haven't done this. Go to the Feb second half listing for what I wrote there.


TRUE STORIES- Sun Mar 25 at 6:30- AMMI in Astoria- Part of the museum's Fashion In Film Festival. A cult film from 1986, starring and directed by Talking Heads' David Byrne, and written by Byrne and Beth Henley (Crimes of the Heart). Actual tabloid stories are combined to tell a story in a small Texas town. Interesting cast includes Byrne as narrator, John Goodman (possibly his best screen performance), Swoosie Kurtz and the late Spalding Grey. Quirky, fun film, with Byrne using his sensibilities to great effect. Imagine a happy David Lynch projected on screen. That includes a number of Talking Heads songs and stylized costumes to match.


Offbeat list I think. Let me know. Later all.

P.S.: A link to the famous Mad As Hell speech from Network. Try pulling off this monologue:

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechnetwork2.html

March revivals: first half

Mike here with a list of March revivals for the first half. Much smaller list then usual. Here we go:


RAISE THE RED LANTERN- Fri March 2, and Sat Mar 3 at 7 and 9:30, Sun Mar 4 at 7, Wed Mar 7, Fri Mar 9 and Tues Mar 12- Thurs Mar 15 at 4:30, 7 and 9:30- Film Forum- W. Houston St. bet. 6 and>Varick- A new 35mm print of the 1991 film. Gong Li stars as a young woman in 1920 China, forced into an arranged marriage with a man with other wives. She must then compete with the varying hierarchy and jealousies of the other wives. Highly praised film with gorgeous cinematography. Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film of 1992. Briefly banned in China until the mid 90s.


CONAN THE BARBARIAN- Fri Mar 2 at Midnight- Landmark Sunshine Cinema- 143 E. Houston St. bet. 1st and 2- One of my favorite bad films. This god awful, so full of itself, yet still fun film, made Arnold Schwarzenegger a Hollywood leading man, for better or worse. Don't blame me; I was too young to help this film be one of the top grossing films of the summer of 1982. There are so many hot chicks here, your head will spin. Sandahl Bergman is just one of them. Max Von Sydow and James Earl Jones are in full paycheck mode here. Written by Oliver Stone and director John Milius; it's amazing they ever worked again after this crap. For fans of fun junk like The Warriors, here's another one. Enjoy.


THE ELEPHANT MAN- Fri Mar 9 and Sat Mar 10 at Midnight- IFC Film Center- W. 3rd St. and 6th Ave.- Another of several David Lynch films getting midnight screenings. Mel Brooks had control of this property, not based on the hit play. He felt he himself couldn't get the film made properly and still be taken seriously. He found who he thought was the perfect director in Lynch, after watching a screening of Eraserhead. Anthony Hopkins is the star, but John Hurt gets the attention as David Merrick, the deformed man wanting a little dignity. Heartbreaking at times, moving at the end. A hit for its day, compared to films like Tess and Raging Bull. 8 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, Hurt for Best Actor, and Director and Screenplay for Lynch, but surprisingly not for the stunning Black and White cinematography of Freddie Francis (Glory, Cape Fear remake). The Formula and Coal Miner's Daughter were both nominated ahead of Elephant Man? Oh, HEEELLLL NO! Anyway, one of the best films of 1980.

CLINT EASTWOOD'S IWO JIMA FILMS- Sat Mar 10 at 3(Flags of our Fathers) and 6(Letters from Iwo Jima) and Sun Mar 11 at 4(Iwo Jima) and 7:30(Flags)- AMMI in Astoria- 35th Ave. and 36th St.- The two Clint Eastwood World War 2 films, are played back to back. Most of you haven't seen them, based on their poor box office grosses. The underrated Flags of Our Fathers, and Letters From Iwo Jima, one of the best films of the year. Worth catching if you've never seen them.

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM- Sat Mar 10 for 5 dollars at 8pm- The Makor- Steinhardt Building, 35 West 67th St.- Brutally dark Darren Aronofsky film, covering 4 people's lives, spiraling out of control due to drug addiction. Jared Leto and Jennifer Connelly star, but Ellen Burstyn received the kudos and an Oscar nomination as Leto's mom. Tough, but well made. One of the best of 2000.

Short list. Let me know ASAP. Later all.

Notes from Oscar night

Took me 6 days to come up with this. I'm nothing if not timely. Ignore the fact that's it's listed as Mon Feb 26, it took me 6 days to get around to finishing it.

Met some friends at one of their homes for Oscar night. Attended the gathering at about 7:30. Same thing I've done for 7 Oscars now. It's becoming tradition. Later in terms of time then we usually meet, something that was more pronounced when one of our group was late with the ballots. Generally, 5 of us go against each other in picking the winners. But three of us bet. It used to be a dinner, but it's since switched to a DVD. Third place provides a DVD of an Oscar winner from that year's ceremony for both second and first place, while second place provides a DVD for first. We also provide each other with our top 10 of the year. Is any of this geeky? Bite me punks, it's fun! Rather then break down each list, I'll combine them all for our combined best 10. A point system is used, based on placements on each list. 10 pts. for 1st, 9 pts. for 2nd, etc.:

1)The Departed: 18
2)Pan's Labyrinth: 17
3)Casino Royale: 17 (the only reason this is third is because Pan's appeared on more top 10 lists.)
4)United 93: 16.5 (a half point for being #1 on Hollywood Says' list.)
5)Volver: 14.5 (a half point for being #1 on one of the other top 10 lists.)
6)Cars: 13
7)Children of Men: 13 (Cars was on more top 10 lists then Children, certainly not on mine.)
8) TIED- The Heart of the Game and Jet Li's Fearless: 10.5 (Both made #1 on at least one of our lists, and didn't appear on any other list, because no one else in the room saw these films.)
10)Letters from Iwo Jima: 10

Films ranging from Borat, to V for Vendetta, to Rocky Balboa, to Talledega Nights, made other people's lists. Not mine of course, but anyway . . .

For once, I didn't finish 3rd in the betting of who picks the winners, I finished 2nd. Meaning I get one DVD and give one, as opposed to my usual coughing up two. I owe it all to unclean living, fancy flying, and Dreamgirls winning for Best Sound Mixing. The lass who did lose, did not hide the hurting ego too well. And now, she owes me a copy of Pan's Labyrinth, widescreen edition. Since there is no announced date for its DVD release, this will take awhile.

But like I said, I finished second, not first. I lost to Hollywood Says, yet again. So I owe him a DVD. You would think I owe him a Oscar winning DVD, based on what I wrote in the first paragraph. Instead, he wants Borat. It didn't win, but that's what he wants. Ever see a bald man cry? Not pretty, man. Not pretty.

Other thoughts from the group over the course of Oscar night:

Cate Blanchett was the first best dressed I saw that night. Kate Winslet was a close second, shortly after, though the little girl in the room saw Kate on TV and said: "Mommy, she looks like a lime." From the mouths of babes . . .

J Lo's hair looked real nice, and the makeup, a major improvement. The dress was crap, but from the neck up, she looked great.

My head really turned when I saw Montse Ribé, who won for Best Makeup for Pan's Labyrinth. Very nice indeed.

Abgail Breslin and Will Smith's son looked real cute up there. They were the best presenters of the night. The boy already has the strut, which was apparent when he blew right by the little girl, struggling to walk in her dress. He's going to be just like his dad, you can just tell that night. He's got good looks, an acting career and a failed marriage in his future, just like dad.

Very good intro for the screenplay nominations. Teaching people how a screenplay works.

The award that stunned us the most? Pan's Labyrinth losing Foreign Language Film to The Lives of Others. I wanted to see the film before, now more then ever. But why during the acceptance speech do they cut away Faye Dunaway, looking unhappy, and thanks to both age and plastic surgery, looking like the Cryptkeeper? What the hell?!?!?

In retrospect, I wished I was paying attention to the speech of one of the sound editors who won an Oscar for Letters From Iwo Jima. One of their fathers actually fought on Iwo Jima and I'm sure it was interesting. But honestly, it was Sound Editing, so we were seeing who got it right, wrong, talking about something else, etc.

Rachel Weisz introducing the Best Supporting Actor looking NIIIICCCEE. But trying to pronounce Djimon Hounsou's name was not just a job, it was an adventure for her. But I know what you're saying, let thee who has not mispronounced Djimon's name cast the first stone. I think it's from the bible. Or from Star Trek.

Was surprised by Alan Arkin's win, but loved the genuine emotion of the speech. Eddie Murphy got so pissed he walked out? Didn't even notice until the 3 Oscar nominated Dreamgirls songs were performed and they didn't have Eddie to cut to. Sore losers are not appreciated.

Loved Jennifer Hudson's 2nd dress, not thrilled with the first that had pockets. Yeah, a dress with front pockets to make a big girl look bigger. Stick on some shoulder pads from some sci-fi show from the 70s, and the fashion disaster is complete! And what was that one line from Jennifer's acceptance speech? " . . . look what God can do . . .". Personally, I'd like God to be a little more selective, but I really liked Jesus Camp, so my one way trip to Purgatory is already set. Also, "Bill Condon's a genius . . ."? Okay . . .

And on yeah, could the 3 Dreamgirls songs be performed in a less interesting manner? No wonder Melissa Etheridge won. Jennifer Hudson was one of the uninteresting performers, but remember what she said, this is what God can do.

I was not expecting much from Ellen as host (I took heat for that comment in the room), but after a slow start, she was okay. Fantastic when compared to Jon Stewart. Amazing when compared to Seinfeld, who stopped yawning long enough to deliver a truly lame set of jokes, before introducing the nominees for Best Documentary.

ABC's pre-game show starts with an interview with the two most boring women on the planet, Naomi Watts and the botoxed (probably) Nicole Kidman. They may not actually be boring, but I couldn't tell based on their quick interview. And how does Nicki still stay on the A list, when she doesn't seem to draw flys to her films, except for Happy Feet, and that wasn't hers?

The room split on Cameron Diaz's dress and hideous brown hairstyle, guess which side I was on? And who attacked Lisa Ling's dress with a weed whacker?

I thought I wouldn't care for the tumblers. That seemed to be the kind of slowing down act that would piss me off. But they were pretty good. Snakes on a Plane was pretty good, but The Departed was great. Damn, they fired the gun!

The In Memorium segment was as good as always. For a Star Trek fan like me, I felt like an idiot that I forgot that James Doohan had died. At first, I thought that Robert Wise was being honored, when they showed a clip from Star Trek The Motion Picture. But considering that not everyone is remembered and put in (Peggy Lee and Lawrence Tierney are examples), so it was nice to see Scotty remembered. Even though he died in 2005 and it he should have been in last year's In Memorium. Come to think of it, I didn't notice that Scotty was left out last year. Pathetic on my part.

The Ennio Morricone segment was terrific. Right up until Celine tried to put a billion people into a coma with her rendition of Ennio's song from Once Upon A Time In America. So slow, I'm wondering if she's still singing the song. But nice to see Morricone sitting in the Abe Lincoln seats of the theater (A joke I steal from Robin Williams at a Richard Pryor tribute). Seated next to him was Quincy Jones, wearing . . . I don't what he was wearing. Hollywood Says said it reminded him of something from Dusty Rhodes 's closet.

According to Leo and Al Gore, for the first time, the Oscars went green. You could cut the indifference in the room with a knife.

The 2 presenters who looked like they did not want to be anywhere near each other? Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. The first time they presented, back in 2002, Spider-Man was about to come out, but they had broken up months ago. The body language between them: frosty to say the least. Now 5 years later, they've shot 2 more Spider-Man films (he was almost replaced by Dunst's then-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal), and Toby's fiancee gave birth, and the body language between him and Dunst is still awkward. Holding hands coming out, then dropping them as fast as possible. Eeeh!

Overall, not a bad show, but it still felt like it was stretched unnecessarily. Thanks to the snow, I needed to stay over. Luckily as you can see, I had a buddy next to me as I slept. Later all.